Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love Blooms in Many Ways

I believe in everlasting love.

There, I said it. And it's okay if you don't. Love is something that crosses all boundaries and shows no prejudice. I believe you love who love. Be it a sweetheart, a friend, an animal (a pet, you pervs!), your family, or whatever god you find comfort with inside your heart.

I believe when you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are and don't try to change them. You give yourself fully and (gulp!) love whether they return it or not. Because your heart just loves.

Despite being very sentimental about everlasting love, I'm actually not a girl who is big on celebrating Valentine's Day. My soulmate brings me flowers all year long. He always has a Three Musketeers bar hidden so that when I can't stand it anymore and "must!have!chocolate!" it's there for me. He takes the kids for me after he works a long, hard day so that I can go for a run or get some me time. He's a good father. A patient friend. So, I don't need anything special on Valentine's Day to feel that I am loved. I feel that all year long. And yes, I know that I'm a lucky girl.

This Valentine's Day for me is about celebrating different kinds of love and all of the unique ways it presents itself.

This morning, on his own with no prompting, my son got up early--full of excitement--and made his "Valentine" a special gift bag full of things he thought she would like: a Tinkerbell pin, stickers, a "wand", chocolates, a squishy ball with hearts on it, and a stuffed lion. During our normal breakfast routine we usually watch the sun come up together. This morning I said, "Oh, look at how pretty the sunrise is today." He didn't even turn to look. Instead, I got "Yeah, Yeah, Mom." I joked back with him, saying, "Yeah, Yeah, Mom? What's that!?" He said, seriously, "I'm sorry! But I'm just thinking about Jada! I really like her A LOT!" Sigh. My first taste of heart break as my six year old son pulls away and starts realizing the allure of another woman. His heart is full of love though, and I am just grateful that he was thinking of a way to make her feel special today.

I'm also full of love and gratitude for the community of writers, readers, and friends whom I've begun to really get to know on Twitter. I was determined to be a hold out and not dive in to the wonderful world of Twitterverse. But I'm so glad I tested its waters to find out what the appeal was. Leary at first, I slowly began making friends and acquaintances. What surprised me the most though is how deeply and sincerely friendships can form with people you've never even met. How those friendship lines can cross all boundaries (age, race, religion, gender, location, sexual orientation, professions) and perhaps that's what makes them even more special in my heart.

Many of you know my stance on equality and human rights. We may not all agree on the issue of same-sex marriage, and I'm not asking for you to or even trying to push my beliefs on anyone else. You have the right to believe what you believe.

But I do believe in the right for every person to marry the person they love. Whatever way that love manifests itself. I pray in my lifetime that same-sex marriage becomes legal across the nation, just as interracial marriage finally got its due. I want to see my brother walk down the aisle someday, with the man of his dreams. I want him to know the everlasting love that I have found, and to be able to celebrate it in front of his friends, family, and in the presence of God--who I truly believe is accepting of all forms of love and compassion.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the TV show Numbers. Agent Don Epps said: "Where ever God is, I'm pretty sure he's in how we're there for each other."

So I leave you with a request today: look for love all around you. See how it's present in the way we treat strangers. Find it on a walk. See love and joy through your children's eyes. Hug a friend. Send a happy note telling someone what they mean to you. Share a box of chocolates with your sweetheart. Love yourself fully, with no conditions.

Happy hearts and hugs day, my friends!


  1. This made my heart smile. It reminded me of so many things.

    On a personal level, I have been struggling and for many reasons. The upheaval in my life is beyond ridiculous but I am trying to make sense of all the changes I'm experiencing. It's not easy but I am hoping for the best.

    I believe in love. I believe that each of us has someone special out there. But, just the same, I also believe that there are those who are meant to walk this life alone and discover the meaning of live, solo - without a significant other. That is not to say, however, that love itself is only defined by intimate relationships. As you said, love comes in many forms and I believe this to be true.

    Feb 02 would have been my 8th anniversary with my former flame. And then comes Valentine's Day where everyone around me is happily in love and I am alone. It's hard not to think about it. I've been having sleepless nights in which I have been trying to forget and simply let go.

    I am not one who celebrates Valentine's day...I always try and make an effort to show my partner how much they mean to me in every day that we are together. Some say that it is the reason I have been taken for granted...but, I just say, well, perhaps we're just too different...and incompatible.

    Valentine's day for me is a little overrated. It's too 'commercial'. Why buy flowers and chocolates on one day of the year? Why not do it spontaneously? Why not make breakfast in bed, just because?

    Maybe I'm an idealist.
    Maybe I'm a dreamer.

    I do know that I am a hopeless romantic and I can love with so much fiery passion that would put the sun to shame...

    I'm learning more about myself as I meander about my existence, seeking truth and clarity far beyond that of which the eyes can see.

    In being single, especially on Valentine's Day, I will have to admit that there is sorrow in my heart because of memories that insidiously creep into my coherence.

    But, I do know that I am loved either way. This is my 2nd shot at life and my soul mate will find me, one day, when I am ready.

    Maybe. Someday.

    Just not today.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you.

  2. Awww how sweet, *sigh* everlasting love ;)
    I believe in it also, and yes, I agree that everyone have the right to marry who they want. Have a nice weekend!

  3. Dylan, thank you so much for sharing your story here with me. I am forever touched and awed by the imprint you're making in my life. I too know how it is thinking back on a relationship on a milestone day & thinking about what could have been. Having been on both sides, I can only say that it's ok to be an idealist and a dreamer. Because there ARE people out there who will love you exactly for who you are and who will treat you the same way you treat them - with secret little love notes, flowers just because, foot rubs unexpected, running to the store at 10 pm because you have a craving, doing the dishes when you've had a long day and no get my point. That kind of love may not come to everyone in THIS lifetime, but I do believe it comes--especially if you keep believing. I have found it IS worth waiting for. And it IS real. You have the most amazing, kind, funny, big, generous, warm heart. If someone special doesn't find you - it's their loss. In the meantime, us friends will just hog you right up and give you the friendship love you need! xo

  4. S.K. Anthony - Thank you for the comment =) It's nice to meet someone else on the same page! Haha! Hope you had a lovely V-day and a fun weekend ahead =)